SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hello! Welcome to HerConnect Voice, where we are talking all things performing arts and the power of connection. My name is Lindsay Ann Dow. I am the Her in HerConnect Voice, and this season I'm taking you behind the scenes of my first ever professional production, Dear Evan Hansen. A multi-tony award-winning musical debuting for the first time in Kelowna, BC, Canada, this spring. So, ladies and gentlemen, take your seats and enjoy the show. Well, it pains me greatly to say this, and I knew this day would come eventually. It's over. Eighteen shows are complete, dressing rooms are cleaned out, wardrobe and props are put away. Dear Evan Hansen, our version of it, which we so lovingly brought to life, has taken its final bow. You might be able to hear the emotion in my voice, yes, because this is gut-wrenching. The only way to describe it. For eight weeks I let this be my single focus. I set things up just so, so that I could be free to experience this with all of me. I knew I'd settle for nothing less than all of me, which is a big ask of a mom. But I did it. We did it, and it was all-consuming. It was the ride of my life. I laid my heart and soul out bare, and in many ways, right now I feel I left it there. The process enveloped me so fully that I wasn't thinking, I was just doing. My body led the way, and for the first time, I led it. Yes, this hyper-vigilant, analytical overachiever stepped aside for passion and creativity. Which, by the way, are bound by no rules, no clock. Something has changed within me. I allowed this side of me to step forward, to have the floor. I don't think I can ask her to leave. So, to be continued, I'm still picking up the pieces of my heart and what this means or how this manifests. I don't have the answers right now, but I will live by the message behind this podcast, which is connection and well-being through creativity. So I commit to staying creative, embracing art in whichever way I can on any given day. I will remain open and vulnerable and cry a lot in an effort to connect to this next iteration of myself. It's a lot, but onwards. Sorry if you can hear my kids outside yelling and screaming. It is now summer break, and they're at home and they're making noise. Okay, so on to the interview. The last interview I conducted in this series was with none other than Delphine Litke, a familiar face at Actor Studio and in the music circuit in Kelowna. I was honored and slightly intimidated to be working with Delphine. She is a powerhouse of a vocalist, has great comedic timing and acting chops, and she's a legend. She puts on variety shows where it's just her and a few of her musical friends, and they sell out. She's known, she's liked, she's extremely professional, knowledgeable when it comes to music theory, which is the math part of music, and when I first met her at auditions for Dear Evan Hansen, she made me feel instantly welcome. So she's nice too, dammit. Delphine was my last interview before I had to pull the plug due to rehearsal frequency as we neared opening night, and I'm finally able to put it out. I hope you got to see her as Heidi Hansen, Evan Hansen's mom. Purposefully worlds apart from my character, Cynthia Murphy, Connor's mom, and yet struggling just the same. Where Cynthia has a husband and co-parent, money, time, and resources, no matter what she throws at it, she can't seem to get through to her challenging son, Connor. And Heidi is all alone, a single mom, working full-time and going to school in the evenings, all in an effort to provide her son, Evan, with a life she believes he needs. For most of the show, they are contained within their family units, Evan being the only link between them. They do share the stage, though, for one scene in the second act, and it was one of our favorite moments. Both Dell and I, as the mothers in the show, hold the emotional weight. But in this one scene where Heidi is invited for dinner at the Murphy's, we get to have some fun. Their socioeconomic differences are immediately evident, not to mention their understanding of Evan. Who he is to each mother is entirely different. Heidi fights to maintain her ground as Evan's true mom, and Delphine did a fabulous job of giving me just enough attitude that it felt deliciously mama bear. Cynthia has no choice but to back down in the face of a strong, willful mother, as much as she tries to assert her importance in Evan's life. The scene is funny, but as with everything, dear Evan Hansen, there's nuance and complicated feelings underneath the comedic and awkward surface. I will miss performing this scene with Del each and every day. Delphine doesn't have children of her own, and as you'll hear, she was concerned it would put her out of the running to play a mom in the show. It didn't, of course, and the way I saw her eyes sparkle each night as she watched Ethan's portrayal of Evan, I can totally see why. Her pride was evident, her empathy undisputed, and she delivers perhaps the most poignant moment of the show with the revealing and tender song So Big, So Small. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, I shared my version of this song, which we were asked to provide for auditions. It's a total gut punch. For anyone who had dry eyes up until this point, they were done for. Delphine had sang this song hundreds of times prior to playing Heidi, but when she sang it to Ethan, it changed everything for her. That type of emotional depth is why she landed the role. And I loved watching her become a mother each and every night. She nailed it. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Delphine Litke. Hi, Delphine. Hello. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Okay, so before we get into some of the deeper questions, let's start with the couple icebreakers just to get us warmed up. Okay, so favorite live music experience.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Um, I'm a huge YouTube fan. Huge, huge. And I've seen them in concert like five times. Yeah. But my favorite time I saw them was in, I can't actually remember the year. I think 2009. Haha, 2009. In Vancouver, it was the 360 tour. So it was the tour that had a huge, huge, huge kind of space claw that went up and down and spun all around, kind of sort of thing. And I got to be on like the floor next to the stage with a friend of mine, and it was just unbelievable. And the blackhead peas opened, it was fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

Oh my gosh, in 2009, they were huge too.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Yeah. Don't put Fergie down. Don't sleep on Fergie. She's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Totally.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Yeah. I I think all of those guys, like I think they they kind of came across as like kind of cartoony or caricature. But like super talented. Super talented. Yeah. That's amazing. That's was it in a stadium?

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Oh yeah, it was a BC Place.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

BC Place. So like 60,000 odd people.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Yeah, that's about right. That's a big one. Actually, that was like the biggest selling concert until I think Ed Sheeran broke that record. And then right after was Taylor Swift.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Amazing. I love you too. I grew up listening to a bit of U2 as well. I've never seen them in concert, but I think the people who see them do that. They keep going.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Oh yeah. Well, they were in, they opened the sphere in Vegas uh last year, I think. And I very nearly, I've never been to Vegas, and I very nearly went on my own because I was like, this is not an experience I want to miss. Yeah. But I was also like, I don't know if I want to go to Vegas for the first time by myself.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

So yeah, that would be that would be interesting. But I can say I just as of recently have been to the sphere. I saw a very different band from you two. I saw the Backstreet Boys.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Oh my god. That would have been phenomenal.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

It was, I'd never seen them before.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

Or larger than life.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

It was larger than life. Um, it was yeah, I it's hard for me to describe it because it was so big and like the screen and everything. Yeah. I also realized, and I have to like, I have to be careful, and it's a good thing I'm talking to another music person. I realized how much I love a band, and I love more of the raw, like I like seeing the whole group together. Yeah. So with this, it was like just the five of them. Oh, I see. No backup singers, no dancers, no band, just a track. I mean it was it sounded amazing. Yeah. Like the sound was big and the screen was big, and but I'm like, I don't need the screen. Really? No, just give me uh just give me my give me the band. Yeah. Yeah. And the light. Like I'll take a look at things. But like there was all these animations on the the the screen, and it felt like you were flying, and sometimes I had to like look away because it was a little bit nausea-inducing. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I yeah, it was really interesting. I think for like to see a band that maybe you don't know as well and you just want to go for the experience, right? Sure. But I found I was like a bit distracted by all the graphics and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

I've often wondered that since they've opened the sphere, it's like, are you busy, especially because the sphere is so huge and the band is so small.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Right? I mean, they're are you are you missing out by watching the band? Are you missing out on the band by watching the screen like monstrosity that is the screen, which is amazing?

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Like, I those are all good questions because it's almost like the more expensive the tickets at the sphere, they're further back. Yeah, and you can see more of the screen. I think you're getting the the whole sphere experience. Right. But you can't see the band unless it's a scene where they have their images on the screen. Um and then on the other side, like I when I I was looking at tickets, there were some cheaper tickets than what we got, but people said, Oh, there's an overhang, like one of one of the balconies is above you, so you can't get the whole screen. I'm like, okay, I guess I won't get that. But now, in hindsight, I wish I'd got those seats because I was closer. Yeah. And I think I would have enjoyed the experience more. Yeah. Because I wouldn't have the huge giant thing. Um, and I'd see more of the band. Anyways. So you didn't miss anything. There you go, is what I'm saying. Go and like, yeah, don't spend thousands of dollars.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah, yeah, good point. Good point.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Um, okay, triple threat, acting, dancing, singing. I I already know what you're gonna say because everyone says the same thing on this. Which is your strongest, which is your weakest?

SPEAKER_01 12:33

Um singing.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yes, strong.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Singing, dancing, dancing. Because I'm a good mover, yeah, but I'm not much of a dancer, you know.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

I think so. I think I know. Yeah. I mean, we're lucky we don't have to dance a lot in this show. Or at all. Or really at all. We just have to turn halfway around here. Yes. Turn halfway around here and walk. And exit. And then come back and stand and sing, and then move here. Yes. Um that everyone says that, and it occurred to me today I'm asking seven leads what their strongest and weakest is. And usually the leads do less of the dancing than than the ensemble. So that's fine. Yep. Okay, final question. You just landed the gig of your life. What is it?

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Um Broadway. What role? Oh gosh, I was just gonna be general and say anything. Um, I mean, Elphab is right up there. Yeah, of course. Um I just recently uh fell in love with Moulin Rouge. Um, I was lucky enough to see it in London last summer and then in Edmonton on tour in January. That's how much I loved it. I literally got back from London and a friend of mine had moved to Edmonton, like, we're going. And it was phenomenal. And I would I would play anything in that show. I mean, Satine, of course, would be lovely. Just to be in it, yeah. Seriously, just such a great show. Um that was Ethan's, too. That was my favorite.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Oh nice!

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Yeah, that's right up there for sure. I was like, I wonder if I'll go with Broadway or with like a music concert. Oh no, but you two just kind of trumps everything for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Totally, yeah. Um, Alphabet, yeah, I can totally see that. And like, I mean, you played, I don't remember her name and waitress. What was it? Becky. Becky and waitress. And I just thought and I don't know you very well, but I was like, oh yeah, of course. Like she's perfect. Oh, she was fun to play.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

That was such a great, great, great show. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Yeah, we loved it. We loved doing it, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Yeah, it it you could tell. Oh, good. We saw it. I I came with a friend once, and then I came back with my daughter. Um, and she absolutely loved it too. We still listen to the music from it. And she's like counting down the years until she can use one of those songs for an audition, but she's far too young for that still. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Not many though, if you think about it. I know. She could probably be like 18.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

And she could be 18, and she's 13 now. So, anyways, let's not talk about that. Okay. Uh, that makes me how old. Incidentally, it's lovely sitting across from another adult in the cast. I I have all these questions coming up about your background and like your family upbringing, and and then for all of them, like I I get through the high school questions and it just stops. Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

And now you're where you are. You're and some of you are still in high school. Okay, great. That's great. So I can there'll be more depth here. I love I love them.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Oh, absolutely. Oh, they're stupid talented, it's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

They're they're just lovely to be where they were when I was that age. Seriously. They're going places. Yeah. Okay. So you, where were you born, raised?

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Well, I I say born and raised in Vernon. Okay. Um, I was adopted, so I was born down on the coast, and then 10 days later I was brought home to Vernon. And so that's and I lived there until I was 29. And I've been here in Kelowna now for 18 years. So you can do the math on that if you want. Wow. So like Okanagan.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Born and raised.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

That's great.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Um, and so you were adopted, so you don't know about your performing background or in the family.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Well, I I have one little bit of information about my birth father, and that was that he apparently would he and his brothers would put on performances like in the backyard for the family. And I've met my birth mother, and I know that side um I wouldn't say well, but I know of them and I've met them several times. Some of them have come to my shows. But the very first time I met my birth mother, I had invited her, and she came with my half-sister and one of her sisters and my nan to come and see me in like a year-end review kind of thing in Vernon. And the first thing she said to me when I met them in the lobby was, Well, you didn't get that from me. Oh my gosh. Okay, so it's from dad. Yeah, I guess so. Birth dad, yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

That's crazy. And you said you had met him, or you have no, you've never met him. Wow. I have like little goosebumps all over me. I can't I can't imagine that experience of meeting your birth mother, having been raised by a different mother, and now having both in your life.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

That's well, to be completely fair, um, my birth mother isn't really in my life. It was just, yeah, you you met and yeah, and we've met like a few times, and and that's fine. Um, but I like I've met my half siblings several times, and I I have like a Facebook relationship with my half sister and a couple cousins, and wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

So interesting. So do you have then a brother, sister?

SPEAKER_01 17:53

I have an older brother, okay, also adopted.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

And I have a younger sister, Miracle Child.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Oh my goodness, really?

SPEAKER_01 18:00

15 months apart. Yeah. I think something like 14, 15. Yeah. Oh gosh, that must have been fun for your parents. I yeah, thrilling.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

I have two, and I have a few friends who had a third as an oops. And um, most of them cried when they found out that they were pregnant with the third. Um, I'm sure your parents were over the moon excited to have a baby, but still just three kids.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

That's yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Especially that third. Okay, so how was school for you?

SPEAKER_01 18:35

School was school was good for me. Um, I almost always had like lots of friends around when I was in high school. I was very much like I'd get to school early and I'd go and hang in the drama room.

unknown 18:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Um, but it was very much like I didn't have a whole lot of close friends my age. They were usually older or younger because of the drama room. Everyone just kind of congregated in there. Um, but I mean, I was in band, stage band, and concert band, choir, and all that fun stuff.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Sounds very similar to my upbringing. Yeah. These kids, they've got the Kelowna Actors Studio, and that's where they get all of their, I mean, on a much higher level, I think, uh, creative output, outlet. Yes. Um, but yeah, for me it was the band room, the drama room, yeah, school plays and band concerts. And that was it. Yeah. So do you kind of like that got you through?

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, for sure. I did a lot of a lot of shows. Um, and yeah, I was uh I loved doing band trips. Those were so much fun. I played an Alto Sacks for most of my Me too! Yay! Um, but then in my senior year, my grade 12 year, I would play, I played Alto Sax, no, soprano sax in concert band. Cool. And tenor sax baritone sax in Delphine stage band. So like imagine me walking home from school leaning over with my super heavy sax case and the super light sax case.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

I did the same, of course. I don't think I ever took the baritone home though. I think I just left it at the school because it wasn't mine. I had this the soprano, oh sorry, the alto was mine, and then I they needed a uh baritone for jazz. We had we had concert band and jazz band, and so I played it in jazz band, I think. But you know what I remember is like my breath support, my like and my abs. I was like, I mean, I was also young, but like I had the strongest core from the breath that it required, like the difference between an auto sax and a baritone sax to get like air out of that thing. Totally.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

You had to really give her well and then with the soprano sax, it's that much more focused, so your embouchure is much, much tighter for the soprano and much less for the omburger. I love that word. Yes, so that was an adventure.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

I loved it. So good, amazing. Um okay, so after high school, post-secondary, anything?

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Uh I played around a couple years for with uh Okanagan College in Vernon and uh decided that that was not for me. Which was funny because I was I was a great student in high school. I was all over school, and then I got to the point where I didn't have to be there and I was like, yeah, I don't like it. Where what are you doing now? So I work for the city of Kelowna. Um I actually work in a department called Community Ticketing. We build all the events, the ticket events um that are run by the boxoffice.ca. Okay. And by we building, I mean me building. Oh you! I do the vast majority of them, yeah. Oh, the amount I have on my plate right now is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Wow. So any anything that happens here and they want to sell tickets?

SPEAKER_01 22:05

To be clear, um, it's mostly right now it's the Kelowna Community Theater. Yes, it's the Rotary Center for the Arts. Yep. Um, it is we ticket the um Kelowna Falcons games, okay, the Kelowna, the OC Coyotes games, the UBC O Heat, which is the basketball and volleyball teams up at the university. We're ticketing Touchdown Kelowna. That's the big thing that's going on with the CFL coming to Kelowna. I heard about this at the end of the month, um, or end of June, pardon me. Uh, and what we've got a lot, there's a lot going on. We we anytime you go and see a show at KCT or RCA, that's us for sure.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Wow. So I'm sure it's a really big job. It also keeps you connected to the scene. It really does.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

I'm super lucky in that way. Because I it's it's funny though, because I can build a bunch of events that are like months, maybe a year away, and someone will be like, what's coming up this week? I'm like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Maybe I don't have to ask how you keep creativity in your life because here you are, this Kelona Actors Studio royalty. And you also help ticket for all of these events that are coming into town. Um, good for you. Good for you, good for you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Uh, I'm very lucky, very fortunate, but this opportunity came up and it was like, why wouldn't I take that? And the job itself has morphed into something more than it was when I first started, which is great. Yeah. Um, and I work with amazing people who I love. So uh that's pretty awesome too. That's great. You're in an office or are you working from home? I work in the Kelowna Community Theater. Great. Yeah, in the box in the office in the front.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Okay, and so they have a they have a staff.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Lots of volunteers too, but tons of volunteers. Yeah, but they have like regular absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

That's so great. You're like, you're right there. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. I'm envious in a way because my life took different a different path. I mean, I I kept creativity in it along the way, but it's funny how you don't realize how much you need it until it's gone.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

So I took a little hiatus, had some children, and had to kind of say goodbye to it in a way. Like my job was it was creative, but it just wasn't enough, I think, for me. Um, so I tell my kids, you know, like, especially my daughter, because she she's here and she does stuff like this. Find something where you can be creative.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Because it's no use doing anything. You can make all the money in the world. And if you're not scratching the itch.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Which brings me to my next question that I was actually supposed to ask you earlier, but that's okay. Um I refer to the itch, the bug, as like that creative, that love of being on stage and just the need to be back. Yeah. Do you remember when you first caught it?

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Um, you know how they have like Christmas concerts in elementary school? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So there would always be a small group of us that they would choose to do like the little vignettes in between the classes kind of thing. I was usually in those. Yes. You don't say I played the iconic role of Santa Claus. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Wow. I know. Did you ho ho ho? Well, yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

I'll bet it sounded great. Well, you know, as an eight-year-old girl, sure, yeah. Bet it sounded amazing. Yeah, yeah. So that was um a big part of it. And I mean, I loved my drama teachers in elementary and high school, um, and was very much fulfilled by those drama programs.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

And music, I should say, has been.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Yeah, me too. I think it's just changed over the years. Like it's it's not as prevalent as it was. It's still there, but it's not, and there's more, you know, private groups coming out. And um, at least we are very lucky in this community to have this place among others where where kids can go and like get that creative energy out, which is awesome. Santa Claus, I love that. I was Oliver Twist, so we're both boys. Yeah. I was just a young boy and you were an old boy. An old boy. Okay. So let's kind of segue into Deer Evan Hansen.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

How did you hear about it?

SPEAKER_01 26:32

How did like jumped on the bandwagon of Deer Evan Hansen right when it came to Broadway?

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

I was there like 2015, 2016, whatever that was. Have you seen it? Yeah, I've seen it twice. I was lucky enough to see it. I was on tour and I got to see it in Toronto, which was a fluke, and then I saw it again in Vancouver. February, uh February or March of 2020. Oh my gosh. Yeah. People were already starting to wear masks. That was the last thing. That was lucky. Yup. Mm-hmm. It's and it's so funny because I do I love it. I love it. I love it so so much. But it wasn't until I was cast in this, and then I started re-listening to it, and I was like, oh my god, I forgot how much I love this show. And I forgot all about Good For You, that song. I was like, oh my god, that's right. There's another one in there.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Yeah, you get two very opposing styles of songs. Yeah. Quite close together in the show. And um, I have a confession, and I I I really wanted to get this on recording, and it's recording right now. Great. I wanted your part. Yeah, I and it's because of the song. So big, so small. I was like, man, that song is so beautiful. And like, I could do that, but you know what? I don't feel that way anymore. So you don't have to worry. I'm not gonna come like take out your knees in the night or anything. I I started reading because we did we did auditions and then we did callbacks, and I was reading the script for because I selected both moms, Cynthia, Heidi, whoever you guys think. Yep. And um I started reading the script for Cynthia, and I was just going over it in my house at home, and I was like, damn it. If I am lucky enough to get in this show, I'm getting Cynthia. I just I'm Cynthia.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

See, I so I've sung So Big So Small like a hundred times because I did it. You came to my black box show this last March. So I that's my third one I've done. And the very first one I did, which was three years ago now, was called Heartfelt, and it was all ballads. So I did So Big So Small as one of them. And so, of course, Spencer and I've our music director, we've practiced and practiced, we've played it a lot, super familiar. That's why in our first rehearsal, I'm like, I got this. Yeah, when we came to the audition, I was like, I got this, not a problem. But and so I was like, I really, really, really want Heidi. But again, as I was rediscovering, I was like, Oh, Cynthia, she's man. Like, I I honestly wasn't even sure if I would get cast in the show, just because I'm usually cast in more comedic roles. Yes, which is you are you know, I I can do that, yeah, you're good at that. But it's nice to have a challenge, but I also wanted to, it was a challenge for me also mostly because I'm not a mother. I have many, many mothers in my life, but and I and I learn a lot from them, yeah, for sure, but there's something about being a mother.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

So I was like, I don't know if they're gonna get casting casts.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

I don't know if I'm gonna get cast.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

That's that's interesting. Yeah, I and I definitely like sold the mom card pretty hard because I I you know I just was like, okay, I know I've got this, I I know how to be a mom, but like knowing how to be a mom and acting like a mom on stage are two different things. Well, yes and no. It helps. Helps, does help, yeah, does. Um, and maybe it's it helped, I don't know, feel more of Cynthia's pain, maybe. And also having, you know, some mental illness light in my background, being able to relate to kind of the feeling of maybe Cynthia has had something in the past, and then having k kids with it as well, just really understanding that complex situation. I mean, ultimately, and at the end of the day, I was like, put me in the ensemble, I'll be on the ensemble. Oh, there's no ensemble.

unknown 30:52

Gosh.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

I know.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

So I have to get I have to. Have to, have to. Anyways, I another thing that I was gonna say about Heidi, I bought uh Dear Van Hansen like commemorative coffee table book. I have that book. Do you? I do. It's beautiful. Yes. I'm a-cause you brought it to or maybe I gave it to Malakar.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Yes, I saw him reading it and I was like, I have that book. And he's like, where do you get that book? And I'm like, Amazon.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

Amazon. Yeah, because when I when I when we were going for callbacks, I'm like, okay, I need to know what's going on with these parts here. And I actually didn't read, yeah, I didn't read it until callback. So when I submitted the video part for the open call, I sang So Big, So Small, and I sang it now looking back, like Cynthia would have sung it.

unknown 31:38

Huh.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Isn't that interesting?

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Very interesting.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

And I was very interested to learn reading in this book how different Heidi and Cynthia are, and that my kind of read on Heidi and what she was saying in the song was a bit off what was actually going on. Interesting. Um, and as soon as I kind of learned that, I was like, I I I went, okay, I could be either. Either is gonna work. Just fine. Yep. Um, so, anyways, I just wanted to share that with you. So I'm like, I'll tell her one day. So you love the musical, you've seen it a couple times, and that's sweet for you. Um, what stirs you up on the inside when you hear this story?

SPEAKER_01 32:34

I think well, it's Evan, honestly, and it's one of the things in the show that really gets me is my last scene with Evan when we're having our big talk. And and I'm like, you can talk to me. You can say anything to me, you can talk to me, and he says, You'll hate me. And that is like you have to think, like, or you have to wonder, how could anybody think that someone that who is their mother could hate them? I don't think my mother hates me. I know my mother doesn't hate me. I'm saying that right now. I love you, mom. Um, but it's that kind of mask, I guess. It's such a cliche thing to say, but it's the mask that we wear for the world to see, and there's usually something much different underneath it.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

How do you relate to that message of the mask? Or do you?

SPEAKER_01 33:33

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And that stupid exercise we did on our first like opening rehearsal. I was like, oh, we're all kind of broken. Look at that. My goodness. Without going too much into it, there's just a lot that you know I don't want to burden people with. There's so many of my friends, sorry. That's okay. Um, and I've really come to realize this lately, um, their lives are so full. And mine is too, but in a different way. But theirs is like responsibility, whether it's the family or the kids or the job or whatever, their lives are full, full, full. And I am full with my shirt, my work. And I love my family, but we're not the closest. We're good, but we're not the closest. And I love my friends. I have a ton of friends, but they have their own lives. So there's lots of times when I'm like I'm sitting at home tonight.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

So that feeling of being alone, that you're can you are connected. It's not like you're a disconnected person, but in those moments of like, oh, and yeah, it's just me right now. Okay, great, it's just me. This is a really powerful show. And I think I think what Randy was probably trying to do the other night was make us realize that everybody has something.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_00 35:10

Whether you're surrounded by people all the time, and then maybe that's the problem, or there's times when you're like, I wish there was someone here. If anything, the show teaches us to ask for help, or to say if we're not, if we want more connection. Um that's certainly what I've taken from it and I've tried to do in my life, and what I'm trying to teach my kids is to like you're feeling that way for a reason. The feeling is not wrong. So what are you gonna do with it? Yeah. And how can you show vulnerability? How can you ask for something and show vulnerability and be okay with that? Because usually what happens when one shows vulnerability, when one shows vulnerability, it helps other people open up as well, which is like this magic thing.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

It can.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

It can. It can. It can, and then it can turn make some people shut totally down. So what everyone needs to do is come see Devin Hansen Deravin Hansen and learn how to be vulnerable. Absolutely. Because Lord knows the world would be a better place if we could break down some walls. Okay, let's talk a little bit about Heidi and then we can wrap up.

unknown 36:43

Cool.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

So Heidi, I'll just kind of set the stage, is a single mom. Probably has some time alone as well. Um her, the father of Evan left when he was quite young, and she's been working her butt off to support him ever since. To a fault, probably. They are not as connected, maybe, as they could be. What do you think about all of that and their relationship?

SPEAKER_01 37:15

I is it the most ideal relationship? No. But she's she's trying. She's trying her absolute best. And I think that's the most I think that will be something that most parents can really identify in her with themselves, relate to. That's what I'm trying to say. Um is that if you're a parent worth any kind of salt, you're just trying. Right? There's no handbook, there's no there's no map. I'd like one. Right. Um, but she's trying to do everything she can to make his life better.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

In in the way that she thinks He needs.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

He needs. Yes. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

You've got it. Yeah. I uh I asked Evan actually, Evan. Ethan Ethan, Ethan, who plays Evan. Yes, what he thought about that. And it was so interesting because he kind of went, huh. He didn't really, he's like, she's she's doing everything she can, she's doing everything exactly the way she should. It's the dad who left. And he thought more about because his dad left when he was young, that that's what he thinks of. And it's so it's so it's interesting. As you said, every parent can relate. Yeah. Because, you know, there's kind of something for everyone here. There's a there's a single parent and then there's a married couple.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Yeah, the same happy family.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

That's right, but they're not, they're they're all disconnected too. So yeah, it's really uh we talk a lot about the kids and what's going on with the kids in high school and the the trials and tribulations of high school and and and growing up in this modern world with social media and smartphones and all of that, but really there's stuff going on with the parents too, which gets me because that's my phase of life. And we we didn't have have a have a map for how we're doing this, and we grew up with analog everything. So we're really just all guessing at what to do. Yeah, I just I hope that I want people to know, and now that I'm having another adult on with me, then I'll get the other one too, hopefully, that that like that story is told, and I'm so glad it is told, and it's not just like you don't just see it from the kids' perspective. You get to see like the parents are struggling too for sure, just trying to make ends meet. How do you prepare for your role? I mean, I'm totally ready.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Um man. Well, I'm I'm lucky in this role in that it's a smaller role, but still very important. Um, so my scenes with Evan are the shortest in the show, pretty much. Like even our dinner scene that we had the other night, it that's the longest scene I have. And it's four pages. And I don't say a whole lot. There's a lot of like one-word answers and non-sec worders, that kind of sort of thing. I draw, I like I mentioned before that I have a lot of friends that are mothers, and I have friends that are single mothers, married, working, all of that. So I'm just kind of drawing inspiration from a whole bunch of them and just trying to put together what I think Heidi is.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

And that's great because ultimately the community is how we raise our kids, anyways. We're not, you know, I am not doing it by myself. I just happen to have a couple kids, but I am doing the same thing you are. I am drawing on everybody else's wisdom and trying to do my best. Yeah. And and and showing up the best for my kid or my friend. You know, they're just two different ways of showing up, and all I can do is see things around me and try my hardest. Yeah. We're all just trying our hardest. Yeah. Life is tough, man. This musical is um, yes, it's emotional, and yes, it's deep. Yep. But I think the ultimate feeling that comes out of it is good and positive.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Absolutely hopeful.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

That we're all in this together.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

I agree. Thanks, Del. Woo! Thanks for having me.